Understanding Your Needs & Wants

A bowl of porridge story I heard in radio today:

One day, a boy had a bowl of porridge and a girl asked him what will he do about it. The boy replied, "I will give half a bowl to my mother and the other half to you". Since then on the girl fallen into love with the boy but when the girl grown up, she married someone else. In the end, the girl regretted and realized that purest form of love she experienced was the love from the boy for her...

In modern society, the boundary between needs and wants of human are blurred. To some people, having iPod is becoming a need and no longer a luxury want, thus this leads to more not knowing what they really need or want. In the story, the girl finally realized the love she was pursuing all the while was right beside her but she chose the other guy. Humans have been trying to get what they want and some do it by hooks or by crooks but one thing we seldom realized is that the object we are longing for may not be the best to satisfy our needs. We have been trapped in this dilemma for thousands of years.

I believe that the laws of attraction is at fault, it causes us to get attracted to the object and have sudden surge of obsession over it. We will covers away the flaws that the object may have and only focus on the good points due to the way our brain works. This is why the quote "Love is blind" is all about. Couples whom still enjoying the works of attraction (meaning deeply in love or new couple) will not be able to see through the flaws their partners might have. After the attraction level decreases, our brain will start to think more logically. Thus only after the works of attraction diminish, the couple will then start to complain about the flaws each other has and all those incompatibilities they had since day 1. This is where the quote "Seen your true colours" came about.

Sometimes the object that we really want is right by our side all the while, just that it is human nature to be curious about new object. Attractions caused by the new object will temporary cover up the affection we have for the other objects, but after getting the new object they will realize that this is not what they wanted. Eg, After iPhone came out, tons of people went to grab for it because of the hype but after using it, some will find that the iPhone is not suitable for them due to many reasons. The original handphone model which they wanted to buy might suit them better. Of course, the example listed is only discussing about material object which can be easily replaced. But if we take it into the relationship viewpoint, choosing someone who attracts you more and not the other who love you more may have you regret for life as attraction will die off but affection will not. You cannot guarantee that the one who attracts you will have the same level of affection as the one who love you more.

Thus, do make your choice on your needs and wants wisely and do not be affected by the laws of attraction too much as it is transient only.

PS: If you do not know your needs and wants clearly, just like me, it is good to enjoy some moments of solitude to find out what you really need or want in short-term timeframe.